"I've been letting my mind wonder at night. My thoughts should have a curfew." Am Kidd

Monday, November 15, 2010

Random thoughts


(Image Source: Magnolia Pearl)

Thanksgiving Day is merely nine days away and am thinking...am not ready. I am not ready in the sense of "I don't want it to get here" I don't want to go shopping for the food, I don't feel like setting the table, sprucing up the house, or any of the "duties" involved with a holiday.

Christmas is also around the corner. I absolutely cringe at the thought of getting ready for that too. I really don't want to put up the tree, buy presents, gift wrap, etc.

I wish for uneventful days, days without pressure, duties and "musts"  and I wonder, what is wrong with me? Why this apathy? I hate to admit it but I must confess, holidays are getting "old" they seem to be the same, and while tradition is nice, important, and all that, I know if I had a choice I would really break away and simply do without them.

Now, before any of you my dear friends start to get concerned and think I am sad or depressed, please know that I am not. I guess am just going through a phase. Funny, but at my age I feel just like I did when I was fifteen, and as a typical teen thought my life would not be just like everyone else's and was convinced that "my life will be truly unique!"

The girl of the past and the one in the present are sitting together. They are sharing random thoughts...

 

18 comments:

  1. I totally agree with you Alina, keep changing my mind about having a tree, just can't raise the energy. I would love to sleep over Christmas and wake in the New Year! Ah well, back to doing the envelopes for the cards (she said with a grimace)!

    Great your back with us...... Ciao xxx

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  2. Hi Alina...embrace what you feel and what you value...celebrate the way you wish to honor your life,,and the ways you wish to express it..

    . I have always been one.. not quite in sync with the mainstream calender..it is all beautiful and I love that everyone finds joy in how they celebrate life..but it is also SO okay to not feel like doing that either and to do what feels best for you each year or occaision..to really do what you feel in harmony with!

    You have probably just come to a powerful place within ..that has moved beyond "that way of expression" for you....and your spirit calls you to create life from your own vision! Thats sooo wonderful! be inspired by your own ways..your own heart and feel free!

    I do what honors me..and also try to balance what my world view is..and balance it with what my family/freinds are(doing what an how they celebrate)..but i do what is balancing for me and join in when i feel called. you dont have to put up a tree..do what feels empowering for you! shine on!!Rock on Alina!
    HUgs
    Kiki~

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  3. Start a new tradition Alina! Make it a 'no fuss' holiday, for really, it's about the little things. It's not about the tree, the presents, the food, it's really about celebrating those you love ~ no?

    Hugs to sweet Abby!
    xo Catherine

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  4. If....I did not have the grands here with me, SM and I would do things alot differently.
    One year I was so "depressed, out of sorts, bummed out" that I forced myself to put up a tree and decos and by 10 am on the 25th I had already taken everything down and was glad for it. I can relate. The Olde Bagg

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  5. Hi, Alina! (I've been here twice in one day - weeheeeee!)

    I know, in a sense what you mean. I've been very disoriented, the last couple of years with the seasons. I think that it's the new home - the light is different. Actually, when I moved to VT from CA, I was in a tremendous Christmas mood in September. It was the weather, you see. When we were looking at this house, a couple of years ago, I was dreaming of Christmas. The reality of our first two Christmases here, though, are that I just want things nice and steady - no huge rigamarole - no exhaustion, please. This year, I'm trying to remember what has been precious about Christmas and should be kept and what can I do without.

    Well, "I wish you the Christmas that you wish yourself," as that Irish Christmas song goes. It will be interesting to see how your holidays shake out.

    Love, Me (er, again)

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  6. Actually, last year, not putting any pressure on myself, I just kind of floated through. It was very mild, even though we did two trees and the whole spiel. As I wasn't in a fuss, not trying to grab at the season, lovely enjoyments emerged. I had so much fun decorating my tree - I worked at it little by little for about a week. Also, I led our little church choir and we had rehearsals in my living room. It was such a warm and cozy time. Beautiful music and lots of laughter. It was an unlooked for gift that just floated to me. I hope that I can chill out as well as I did, then, this year!

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  7. I hear you. I'm feeling the same way. After the last couple of stressful years, I just want some peaceful time. I think there's a lot of expectation wrapped up in the holidays, and while I enjoy some of the nostalgia, I'm done with expectation. A few years ago, we moved during the holidays and I didn't want the pressure, so my dad came and we went out for Indian food. We enjoyed it so much, that we did that for the next several years.

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  8. Dear Olive, I am considering having a "table tree" especially now that Abby is here and will surely try to play hide and seek with the floor one :0) It's always great to hear what you have to say XO

    Dear Kiki, thank you so much for your advice and sweet words. I will rock on! LOL I am sending hugs and wishes for a great day XO

    Dear Catherine, yes, absolutely, it IS about being with loved ones and remembering special friends like you...XO

    Dear Linda, having little ones around during this time certainly bring a sparkle. Any sacrifice is worth it! I am sure whenever I get to be a grandma I will probably go "ape" just like when my children were small XO

    Dear Katy, I love to have you here MANY times, you are such a ray of sunshine :0) I could just imagine your excitement moving to Vermont and getting that beautiful house right before Christmas! Like you said, with the rush it's easy to forget what the day really is about. Thank you for reminding me and for being a friend. Welcome back, I've missed you!! XO

    Dear Kari, yes, there is way too much expectation and it is exhausting. Indian food...that sounds great to me! Have a great day XO

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  9. Ya eres la segunda mujer de la blogosfera que expresa este tipo de sentimientos... y créeme que los comparto plenamente contigo, abosolutamente todo... sólo que eres más valiente para expresarlos públicamente.. gracias porque no soy la única que siente lo mismo.
    la imágen que elegiste es mi favorita en Magnolia Pearl!!!!
    PAZ-CIENCIA MI QUERIDA!!!!

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  10. This year will be different- there's a new member of the family now and this is her first Thanksgiving :D and you know how much dogs like presents LOL
    ps I love Magnolia Pearl too, if I wasn;t such a tomboy LOL

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  11. Have you been reading my Blog Alina...?

    I've been ranting about Christmas too. It is really not what it should be. It is supposed to be a Christian celebration, but it has evolved into a commercial one. That's why its lost its magic in my household. Its a chore now, rather than something to look forward to.

    You're welcome to come and help me change the cambelt on my Alfa Romeo and share my corned-beef sandwich and bottle of cider on Xmas day, if you'd like that...!

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  12. Hi Alina, I agree with Catherine, start a new tradition! If the holidays start to become stressful, then that's not what they are all about and it's time to step back and take another look. Maybe it's easier for me because I don't have a large family or demands, so I love the holidays, but for example...I am a Thanksgiving baby. My birthday is Nov 28th and sometimes it lands right on Thanksgiving day, well...I don't want turkey for MY day so one time my hubby took me out for sushi!
    Take care Alina!

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  13. Querida Maria Cecilia, me alegro no ser la unica :0) Tienes razon, paz-ciencia para ti tambien. Un abrazo!

    Dear Kath, you are right, Abby will make a difference. My daughter already bought her several gifts :0)

    TGR, I've just left your Blog and enjoyed your post about Christmas. I am so glad I am not the only one feeling this one! Thanks for the invitation...it sounds quite tempting :0)

    Dear Becca, sushi for Thanksgiving Day...don't give me any ideas :0) XO

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  14. LoL. Alina. Your blog posting and comment on my blog really cheered me up. I too was thinking I was the only person in the world feeling this way about Christmas. At least we know there are two of us now, even if we are on opposite sides of the Atlantic...

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  15. Dear Alina,
    I read your post ... and then curiosity got the better of me ... I wanted to know what your friends were thinking. I was amazed at how many felt the same way.

    It as been five years since I have "celebrated" any of the holidays. On Thanksgiving Day, is the weather permits, we visit Steve's parents at the senior living home. When the weather is poor, we dine simply at home under quiet candlelight with a no frills dinner. There have been a couple of years that we have invited a single friend over, and enjoyed a SIMPLE dinner. I have so appreciated the true meaning of being "THANKFUL" for all that I have in my life ... especially when I keep my life simplified.

    I have not celebrated Christmas for years either. I loathe the fact that it has become so commercialized. We don't exchange gifts ... the only items I purchase are the most glorious cards I find and send those out to my beloved family and friends. I feel no pressure before or during the holidays, nor do I feel the big let down after that so many complain of and that I used to feel.

    Life should be a daily celebration and those we love and cherish should always know how we feel for them. It appears that many of us feel the same way ... holiday or no. ~ If we take the time to care for ourselves we have more time and energy to care for each other ... ~ Be true to yourself my friend, you a are beautiful soul ... that is your true worth! Hugs, P.

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  16. Dear Alina, I can empathise with you on this one...I have always adored Christmas, but with changes over the years it has become somewhat of an ordeal, and I find myself getting stressed just thinking of the lead up to it. I love the idea of Christmas, if that makes sense? The traditions, carols, old black and white movies,the decorations and such but the reality is a whole lot different...I think all the lovely souls here have voiced what I am feeling - there is no right or wrong way to feel, and you should honour your own feelings and desires. Thankyou for coming over to visit my blog - I always love to hear from you x

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  17. Hi Alina, sweetie,
    I'm pleased you did this post about Christmas because I'm in total agreement with you! :-)
    I feel the magic of Christmas dissappeared when I was a teenager. I do not celebrate Christmas at all now. I also hate the pressure of having a happy family holiday... It is actually quite a sad time of year for me and not a time I wish to celebrate. New Year is not much fun either!
    I don't think people should feel bad if they don't want to join in the holiday celebrations.
    Maybe I just have a romantic view of Christmas that does not live up to expectations!
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I hope you feel some comfort to know that you are not alone with your feelings.
    Hugs to you my friend,
    Jo.x

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  18. P.S.
    I'm glad we don't have Thanksgiving Day in the UK.
    That really would be too much over eating and indulgence! ;-)

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Albert Schweitzer said "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit" I thank you all!