"I pray this Winter be gentle and kind--a season of rest from the wheel of the mind"- John Geddes
Every season has a sound. Spring is birdsong. Windows that were shut for months creak as they are opened. The humming vacuum cleaner, the click of pruning shears. It's like yawning when waking up from a deep slumber. Summer is just loud. Ice cream trucks, children playing, the blasting radio from a passing car, people walking, dogs barking. Autumn is quieter, but there are still some distinct sounds: leaf blowers, the swish of a rake, rustling leaves moved by gusty winds. The voices of passing "trick o'treaters" on Halloween Day. Winter arrives bringing a sign that reads: "Silence spoken here." Everything is muffled, everyday sounds crash against tightly closed windows but when snow falls there is a certain sound. It's the sound of nothing. The sound of a city pushed by Nature to stop and seek shelter. The world as we know it stands still. It is such a night here. As I stand by my window I feel my soul relax and close within itself and I am thinking, this is good and just for a while, I will let myself go. I will stand here and the only sound I'll hear is the beating of my heart.
Every Winter when it snows, just like clockwork I get emails from my cousins in Florida: "Are you guys okay?" "Its nice and warm here in South Florida." "We love you, keep dry and warm." It makes me want to laugh. I am touched by the concern but I don't think they realize that it really IS okay. True, snow makes everything slower and sloppier. Roads can get slippery and treacherous. Power may go. Shoveling is no fun but only the people that live in places where the four seasons happen can truly appreciate the change of each one. There is no bigger thrill than that found when snow melts and days get longer and tiny green buds pop up from the soil. The anticipation of wearing flip flops and shorts, the vacation planning, the thrill of an open window, the smell of Autumn leaves. All that and more is worth all the shoveling, at least in my humble opinion :0) I have lived in places where it's always Summer but I would NEVER go back. We were hit by the first snow storm of 2014. Limbs ache from the cleaning but we are warm, cozy and dry. A nice glass of wine, a good book, dim lights and I say: "Let is snow, let it snow, let it snow..."
Here it is. A brand new year. A brand new January. What is it about this date that makes everyone stop and have a look? For most its a clean slate, a chance to start over and try to avoid making old mistakes. For others its a day like any other, life stinks and no matter what the calendar says, it will continue to stink. Sort of like looking at the half empty or half full glass, right? As a teenager I used to keep a Diary into which I'd pour my laughs and my tears. Remember those? Small, square with a tiny metal key?
(Image Source: Google Images)
Those Diaries are long gone. All that remains are a couple of keys as a memento from a faithful confidant.
I started keeping a Diary again in 1992. I was going through some difficult times and I needed to express myself without worrying about how it was going to be perceived or understood. I can honestly say that putting my thoughts on paper truly helped me understand and cope with many things. Spoken words seem to fly away, written words stay, we have a chance to go over them without altering their meaning or message. I continued this Diary journey until December 2009. I am not sure why I stopped, perhaps I was sailing through calmer waters. Perhaps I found my entries monotonous and non-eventful. However, looking back, I regret not having continued to write. As normal and predictable as my life may be, I still like to read past entries and have a glimpse at my then state of mind. It's interesting to see how that younger woman slowly shaped the woman I am today. I once heard (not sure which movie, or TV show) this quote: "Nobody did anything important while they were happy" In a way this is true. Laughter, sun, parties, carefree days make us act differently. Important tasks get pushed back, a general sense of decadence takes over. I doubt that any profound thoughts would occur, at least not to me :o) I find that my best and most revealing Diary entries happened during Winter and during my most trying times. I don't have many specific plans for 2014, I will, however, keep a Diary. I need to be anchored to a writing routine. I need my old friend to listen to my random thoughts. They may be banal, they may be profound, but they will still be a part of me and after all, that's what it's all about. I wish each and everyone a healthy and happy New Year. May it filled with magic and light! XO
I turned 60 years old today. Someone asked me if I was afraid to get old and I answered: No, I'm not afraid to get old, I'm just afraid to get old and not have a chance to do the things I have always wanted to do. Things that got put on the back burner while I was busy raising a family, taking care of my aging parents, putting everybody and everything first. Does it sound familiar? Oh, I bet it does! Do I feel 60? I don't know. How's 60 supposed to feel? I mean, in my Amazon wish list I had Monster High School dolls (which by the way, my sweet, sweet daughter and son in law got for me, LOL) Is that normal at 60? Maybe not, but who cares? The point is, yes, I am 60 years old, yes, my face is not what it used to be but not my spirit and soul! I do have a list of things I want to do before I get "too old." On top of that list (some people call it the 'bucket list') is my wish to go to England. Why? I have no idea. All I know is that since I was 8 years old and I read Alice in Wonderland I simply fell in love with anything and everything English. Then came The Beatles who were, are, and will always be such a big part of me. I was blown away when I saw my birthday cake:
(I had a very hard time cutting this cake. I did not want to ruin it!)
I hope to never loose my faith in people, my sense of humour, my wish to try new things, my love for Nature and above all, my innocence, the one thing that will keep my heart forever young.