"I've been letting my mind wonder at night. My thoughts should have a curfew." Am Kidd

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Tears in the rain


For the past few years I've seen the slow journey of her mind try to leave her body. Her once watchful, alert eyes became vague, dreamy. Her once sure, determined steps became unsteady.  Her once clear voice became a whisper. Her once commanding, forceful attitude shifted, she was directed, supervised. I've watched this once beautiful woman shrivel, fade, evaporate, until she became a fragile shell. 

My mother passed away. In the still of the night, as she laid peacefully sleeping.  Her body has finally joined her mind.

The quiet lingering hope I've always carried that someday things would change between us can no longer live. On this rainy, dark morning, I grieve not only her death, but the death of the mother/daughter relationship I wish we'd had but never did.

I love you Mom

1923-2011


18 comments:

  1. Alina my sweet friend...beautiful and soul-touching..you and your mom are in my heart and thoughts!Sending you many hugs of comfort, love, healing and peacefulness. I am here if you ever need a friend! Such a beautiful photo of your mom! Thankyou for sharing your heart and soul with us all...and wishing you comfort in your time of need. Blessings dear friend!
    Hugs and love
    Kiki

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  2. Dearest Alina,
    I'm so so sorry for your loss. Please know that you are thought of and that my heart is sending out warmth,and peace to yours. My deepest condolences to you and your family. What a beautiful picture of your Mom. May her soul watch over you and embrace you with love.
    Hugs...
    Sandra

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  3. Alina, I send you hugs and prayers for you. You tried your very best, so gain peace with that. Try and remember the good days. thinking of you. much love Olive xxxxxxx

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and yours. Your mom was a beautiful woman.
    Mary

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  5. I am so sorry to read of your Mother's passing. I lost my Mother a few months ago and time has helped put things into perspective but the sting is still there. I too never had a strong relationship with my Mother but I tried and am at peace with that. This post is a beautiful tribute- my thoughts are with you.
    Lori Saul

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  6. Dear Alina, I am so sorry for your loss and am thinking of you and sending much love x

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  7. There is the most wonderful Mother and daughter relationship in your life, that of you and your own sweet girl. Sending you love and hugs across the many miles. Please know that your Blog friend is thinking of you xx

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  8. Querida Alina, lamento de corazón la partida de tu querida madre y deseo que dondequiera que esté su alma descanse en paz y en amor.
    Te envío abrazos con mucha fuerza para tu pronto consuelo.
    maria cecilia

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  9. Oh Alina, such a lovely post and tribute to your Mother. I am sorry for your loss, and do hope you find peace in time. Your "title" caught my eye...brought tears to my eye, and of course reminded me of one of the most beautiful scripts I've ever heard. "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe" One of my most favorite films of all time. Beautiful. Hugs to you.
    Becca

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  10. Alina, you have my deepest condolences. I have an aging mother myself and realize that the days of our relationship, that dynamic mother-daughter relationship, are few. What a beautiful picture of your mother that you chose to post. Peace to you and your mother. Brianne

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  11. Hi Alina.. just popping in on you today..and sending you hugs and thoughts of love and support!
    HUgs
    kiki

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  12. Dear Alina, here's my heart and a loving hug! mmmm, I don't know what else to say.... here's more hope from my heart and another hug. Hoping for comfort and peace and healing and wisdom and freedom for you!!!

    Love, Katy xxoo

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  13. Dearest Alina,
    There is no greater sorrow than loss. My heart aches for your unfathomable sadness, but know that you and memories of your beautiful mother reside in our thoughts and prayers. May the knowledge that so many care bring a measure of comfort upon your soul. For I deeply understand the feelings of separation from those you love, however, their loving spirit will continue to reside within you for as long as you breathe. All my love and hugs, P.

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  14. Dear Alina,
    My thoughts are with you at this sad time. I am so sorry to hear about your mum.
    Your words have touched me deeply because I know how you are feeling right now... It is very difficult when a loved one passes away.
    The photo of your mother is really beautiful.
    I'm sending much peace and love to you and your family.
    Gentle hugs,
    Jo. xxx

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  15. Thank you, thank you, my dear sweet friends! My heart is overflowing with gratitude for your kindness. Hugs and love to each of you! XO

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  16. Dearest Alina

    Your mother was very beautiful. I'm so very sad for you in your loss ...

    much love
    Jeanne
    xo

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  17. Wish I could write how I'm feeling, sat her with a tear in my eye, but everybody else has already done so. Much more eloquently than I ever could. I share their sentiments at this time and feel for you Alina, but must add one important thing.

    Specifically thinking about the final four words in your posting.

    I know that you do.
    And I'm sure that she loved/loves you too.
    Whatever else happens in life, Mothers always have a special place for their children in their hearts....

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  18. I haven't had time to read as many blogs as I'd like. I have only just read your post and I'm so sorry to read about your mum. She was very beautiful. xx

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Albert Schweitzer said "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit" I thank you all!