"I've been letting my mind wonder at night. My thoughts should have a curfew." Am Kidd

Monday, December 7, 2009

Take a good look


I have never wasted my time making or even thinking about "New Year's Resolutions" simply because I know I would not follow them, however, I do like to leave time aside to take a look at the year that's about to end. I browse through my Journal (been keeping one since 1992) and it always amazes me to see how important any simple, regular day can be. I find that most of my deepest and meaningful entries are made precisely on such days when I go about the house doing chores, tending the garden, feeding the birds. There are no extravagant outings, no trips to Broadway to watch a show, no fireworks.

This morning, coffee cup in hand, I read an entry I made back in January about a friend who was having doubts about her feelings for a man she had been dating for some time. The man was gentle, thoughtful and loved her deeply. She panicked when he proposed because even though she had special feelings for him, she was afraid to make a mistake. You see, my friend thinks love is like they depict in romantic novels, where the heroine's knees buckle at the sight of her lover, where the whole room crackles with sexual tension, where rose petals are laid to indicate the path for a perfect ending. I tried to explain that most of the greatest romances are the quiet, deep running ones, and that while passion is wonderful, it can burn out because it cannot contain or hold such forces for too long. I suppose my advice was too boring and rational for her adventurous spirit because she declined the offer and is still searching for that flame, that "un n'est que..."


How about you? What's your ideal love? Are you still searching? Are you dying of thirst but can't see the glass of water right in front of you? I say take a good look. Opportunity rarely knocks twice!


Re-reading my entries give me an idea of where I was back on January 1st and where I am today. What has changed? What makes me happy? What annoys me? I find that while some of the things remain, many have evolved and I note with great joy that amongst my many blessings, one of the best is my ability to be content.


Wishing everyone a wonderful, warm, and beautiful season filled with quiet, deep love.


5 comments:

  1. I love looking back at journals or earlier posts...it's like a road map of where I have been and a glimpse of where I might be headed. Don't, however, ask me for relationship advice!!! I am NOT in a good place about that right now! C

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  2. I can't believe I had the time or the energy to keep a diary when my first baby was born. Every single entry revolves around how long the baby slept. Sleep was at a premium. I also have a diary from when I was sixteen and dating for the first time. Oh my. (love the pic, btw) xx

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  3. I think the older you get, the more realistic we become. Especially with matters of the heart.

    Indeed, for me, I'm content. Does not mean, I don't dream or want better for myself. After all, we must remind ourselves there's always someone worse off and we should be grateful for what we have.

    Good post :)

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  4. yes excellent post... I try to be content and I am content... but many people don't seem to like it when people are content especially when they are living a simple life.... Not enough grand stories to tell, maybe... I am not sure the reason... life is beautiful even if it is quiet... the best to you...

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  5. I do just the same, i like to reflect over the past year instead of making resolutions. My life has changed hugely over the past 3 years for i found my mr o and am now on a wonderful journey together with him, i have never felt more content x

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Albert Schweitzer said "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit" I thank you all!